I have been written off or declared dead many a times in the past. I had gone for too long this time, my readers sent me hate mails for not getting any updates, I was interviewed by IBA and was asked to return to blogging, blah blah blah. So, here I am with a list of 25 things that I’ve learnt since I was gone. Why the number 25?? 25 because I will be turning 25 in 10 days.
1. I’ve learnt that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
2. I’ve learnt that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
3. I’ve learnt that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big dick or huge tits.
4. I’ve learnt that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others — they are more fucked up than you think.
5. I’ve learnt that I can look 15 with a clean shave and turn 30 with a grown beard.
6. I’ve learnt you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.
7. I’ve learnt that you can keep puking long after you think you’re finished.
8. I’ve learnt that a good time can be had by sitting on the beach and drinking with a bum.
9. I’ve learnt that heroes are the people who do whoever has to be done when they need to be done, regardless of the morning after.
10. I’ve learnt that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones who do.
11. I’ve learnt that maturity is a magazine for old people.
12. I’ve learnt that your family won’t always be there for you. Of course, if you win the lottery, the hag, the philanderer, the screw-up, the missing one, the asshole and the horse tooth girl will be and will also claim to be your best friend.
13. I’ve learnt that no matter how good a chick is, she’ll only contribute to your alcoholism.
14. I’ve learnt that two people can screw the exact same person and compare notes.
15. I’ve learnt that airport personnel don’t like you joking about bombs in your luggage. No matter how many times you state that you’re only joking.
16. I’ve learnt that overzealous customs agents can change your life in a matter of hours.
17. I’ve learnt to say, “Fuck them if they can’t take a joke” in 6 languages.
18. I’ve learnt that if you have a BlackBerry in your one hand and iPhone in the other, they will treat you like a king even if you are broke.
19. I’ve learnt that if your sibling is settled abroad and doing well, he would still want to exchange places with you no matter how fucked up your life is.
20. I’ve learnt you should never keep talking to your dog just because he is looking into your eyes.
21. I've learnt that you should always drink and drive as you end up being too cautious to not to bump into anyone.
22. I've learnt that the name of my companies are as weird as me -> 1)Soch....A Creative Thought. 2)techNYK Ctrl+Alt+Del your gizmo problems.
23. I've learnt that it doesn't matter if I have the direct numbers of celebrities in my phone as I am never going to call them and neither are they going to [Ego-Hassles].
24. I’ve learnt that you are only valued when you are gone – That's what happened with my hero Michael Jackson :(
25. In the end, I have learnt that I am turning 25 and all I do is I.T. Training, Modelling, Blogging, Photography and a 100 more things but still not happy with my job. Only if I knew which job to be happy with.
Quote of the Day:
I believe in the imagination. What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see.
--Duane Michals
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